Delusions of Fitness

It has been month since I've worked out!  I've gained 7 pounds!  I'm not married to the scale but man I hate that!  I've had a ton to think about though in these last 30 days!

I really need to get back into things, so I created the Facebook support page for this blog!  Thanks to those who have "Liked" me, if you haven't please do .. (shameless plug)!  look to the right for the LIKE button.

I started to look at next year's schedule.  I put myself down for a half marathon in March and a HALF IRON in July! I need to find a Marathon, then more importantly I need to figure out HOW TO RUN!  I had this same problem last year, I set my schedule and had all these plans for the year and then suddenly spring was here.. I hope to not let it happen like that next year!  Delusions.. I hope they aren't all Delusions!!

Some of you know that my tri-coaching partner was hit by a car while I was on vacation.  She also owns a bootcamp in town!  She was due to have surgery yesterday and I agreed to help with the bootcamp while she was recovering.  I've coordinated fitness groups before with no problem, specifically swimming/tri groups, but I'm knowledgeable in the other areas too. I spent a few days at bootcamp with Alexis,  where the women were introduced to me as a "workout leader"." As most of you have probably gleaned, I am up to any challenge, so even though the number of women was a little intimidating, I was ready for it!

WELL, yesterday, while Alexis was supposed to be in surgery I get a text from her. At first I thought someone stole her phone, then I thought she was just high on the drugs :).  Turns out that her clavicle was healing nicer than expected and NO SURGERY NEEDED.  Awesome!  I was looking forward to the challenge, but also relieved and happy for her to not be opened up!

Since I had already planned on getting up at 4AM, I decided to ATTEND bootcamp.  I totally felt like a male gynecologist (no equipment, yet all the knowledge).  I felt like all the women were looking at me &  looking at how pathetic I was doing the exercises. I felt like saying "hey, even though I may look pathetic, I DO know what I'm talking about :)"

I've been reading a ton about my Ehlers Danlos Syndrom (EDS) and many things are making sense now. This was my first workout since the diagnosis.  The first revelation was the mountain climbers.  I've always hated them, but today realized WHY!  Every time I brought my left leg up, it would click OUT OF PLACE!  ouch.. all of these years I totally thought I was just out of shape and couldn't make this work!

Another issue was with push-up and planks.  I've always had "weak wrists" and it really frustrated me. I thought "am I really that weak???" Well today I realized it's simply because of the EDS.  I had a hard time making sure my wrists were straight and stable.  (they move a LOT).  Also, if I had to drop to my knee at all, my knee caps would simply MOVE over..  again OUCH!

My last revelation was in a shoulder-weight exercise.  I was only using 5lb weights which were no problem 'muscle' wise, but I noticed that every time I got to a certain point that my entire shoulder would just move out!  I have to now figure out a way to do these exercises without pulling the joints out of place!

I'm now pumped that I'm not as pathetic as I thought!  I really did think that I was a slacker and just wasn't working hard.  I may have to re-learn some exercises, but I'm up to the challenge!  Plus, I have to figure out how to run, and at this point, there's not much wrong with my legs.. other than my brain :)...

A reason for the Migranes: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

As many of you know, I have migraines.  I've had them for 30 years or so. Throughout my life I've figured out different reasons for some of them, and have reduced the severity and/or frequency of them. (eyesight, blood pressure, hormones, etc).  I've seen every specialist under the sun and had every test imaginable. Most doctors have just given me the shrug and I almost started to believe I was a hypochondriac. 

It was TRIATHLON that brought me to this answer!  During the Cohassett Tri, I met a woman during the run.  We got to chatting and she also had migraines.  We discussed the very similar symptoms, drugs,  and the fact that no doctor could figure out what the heck was wrong with us.  Randomly we also started talking about our hypermobility (aka my bar tricks).  I never in a million years thought the fact that I can bend my fingers backwards past 90 degrees, or the fact that my arms flip around would be a MEDICAL problem. And  that problem would  cause my migraines.  I never once thought to even tell my doctor about this!!!

Meeting this woman made me think "hm.. could they be related,  we both have migraines and hypermobility."  So I started to research, discussed with my doctor and he sent me to a Rheumatologist. Friday I was finally given an answer: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome - type 3 (hypermobility). **EDS is a Genetic Disorder of the connective tissues**   Unfortunately this is a diagnosis that doesn't have a genetic test, it has just symptom testing.  I will never be 100% sure, but no one with this type is.  I do have all the signs though.

The more I read about it, the more I have "AH HA" moments.  So many things are making more sense to me.  My back and hips always hurt; the bones always "fall out of place" (this is what causes my migraines).  Occasionally my hip will literally dislocate and I have to put it back. As a kid I used to use the screen door to do put the hip back.   Also on occasion the bones in my feet slip out of place and I have a really difficult time putting those back. This just makes me have to sit down for a while and massage my feet.  I just thought I was "super-flexible." 

I see a chiropractor weekly and during times of intense working out, I see my massage therapist often.  Turns out the myofacial releases are very typical and good for EDS.  Also, everything I have been doing has preserved my joints.  There is no cure nor is there a treatment for EDS.  Being athletic is helping and will allow me to stay at the pain level I am now.  Unfortunately there are others out there with EDS that are in constant joint pain and premature osteo-arthritis that can't be stopped. They continually dislocate their joints and can require braces and/or wheelchairs!  This is just more motivation to me to stay in shape (and now get the weight off the joints).

I suspect I will write a lot more about this as I continue on my journey.  I now have a reason for my pain other than "I'm a wimp" or "I'm out of shape" - I don't plan on using it as an excuse, but its nice to know that I'm not insane, or a hypochondriac- just a little odd :).


***updated 2/21:  This post gets a ton of search hits from Ehlers Danlos + Migraine people.  Please see this post as well for additional info, I wrote more info about me and my plight!
http://fatgirlironmanjourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/ehlers-danlos-you-can-have-it-and-be.html

**to get more daily updates Like my page on  facebook!**

Connections and a Storm

I  took a little break from racing after the 50 mile ride  and went to Jamaica.  I thought it would be for a relaxing trip.  I would get to swim and dive and just hang out with friends in the sun.  Mother Nature had a different plan for me!

We arrived, checked in and I immediately went to the diveshack to meet the friends that work at the resort.   I made arrangements for John to take a kayak out super early in the AM so I could swim a good distance.   I prefer early in the AM so I don't get run over by a jetski or boat.  After the arrangements were made we left for the bar.

The next day I swam 1.17 miles along the coast. It was amazing to just swim straight, no real waves, boats, and relatively clear water.  I could see eel grass, starfish, the occasional fish such as a puffer.  I didn't even notice the distance and I'm sure I could have done 2 or 3x the length but I didn't want to bore John to death on our first full day of vacation so we returned. I figured I'd have 8 days to swim lots of miles!  I did notice that the quantity of fish seemed to be lacking and it was a little more murky than usual but didn't really think  much about it until a couple days later.

We also went on a dive that day too, it was a nice dive to about 60 feet.  We didn't see much except coral, some adolescent fish and TONS of lionfish.  The waters of Jamaica tend to be over-fished but I think the lionfish invasion is really decimating the coral reefs!  It really makes me sad!

Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the dive because my camera broke.  I KNEW as soon as this happened that we were in for SOMETHING - Silly me, I just figured it would be a really cool dive such as seeing a Hammerhead shark, or a whale shark or something like that, I didn't even fathom it would be a tropical storm and I would be taking pictures with a Blackberry!

The next day we woke up early and went for another swim, this time with another friend.  He had only swam 1/4 mile up until this point so we set out for 1/2 mile. (I know I'm mean).   Half way through the swim the swells started to pick up and if you would breath to the outside you would get a face full of ocean.  This half mile was definitely harder than the 1.17 I did the day before!  Little did I know, that was the last open water swim I would have for the YEAR.

We watched the weather report and noticed this large weather mass "tropical depression 16" just SITTING on top of Negril.  This storm eventually turned into Tropical Storm Nicole and really put a damper on our vacation.  It just POURED the whole time, the ocean, which is usually flat calm, was a wreck, and there was so much devastation to the sealife.

We entertained ourselves with lots of silly games, and no real working out.. except one day Kevin and I went to a spin class!  Kevin was speaking with the instructor and she was a new triathlete!  She talked about doing "just a mini" tri, and I sorta yelled at her to be proud that its not "just a mini", it's a sprint and she should be proud.   In that respect I told her about this blog and she said "ya know what? I've actually read that!" (!! seriously??? how cool is that?). -


We eventually returned from Jamaica, NOT rejuvenated, NOT rested, and NOT ready for work.  BUT on a good note, I had a Sorority reunion the following weekend so I was getting BACK on a plane in a few days to go party it up with some old friends!

Partying and vacation really will take a toll on your EATING and EXERCISING habits!  I know that anytime I go home to Pittsburgh that I'm going to have a Primanti's sandwich (or two) and if I'm lucky, some Perogies! This is a large pile of greasy heaven! YYYUUUUMMM!!

I was pretty excited to see my sorority sisters after 15+ years, but it was like we never missed a day.  The thing that got me AGAIN (I'm not sure I'm going to get used to this), is the people who came up to me and recognized the blog.  Sisters who told me it was inspiring and that they were doing something because of it, or were just simply proud of me.  Awesome, simply awesome!  --Really, I don't think I'm going to get used to that, but its going to keep me writing.

I do know that I have to get back on the horse, I'm sure I've gained weight and lost muscle in the last month.  I'm going to be helping my training partner with bootcamp over the next few weeks so hopefully that will get me started. It will at least get me up long before the sun!

Here we go......

50 Miles for a good cause!

Saturday I completed a 50 mile bike ride in Kennebunkport, ME for Autism.

3:30 AM is quite early, but as it turns out, I already had a setting in my watch for 3:30AM?   I met up with friends Ethan and Michele @ 5AM and off we went on our 2 hr drive to ride our bikes for 4 hours. Turns out, Ethan ALSO had a 3:30AM already programmed into his alarm! (is there a therapy group for this?).

Michele and Ethan are great riders and agreed to ride "with" me, as I am much slower than they are. So supportive, although riding behind Ethan is like riding behind Andy Schleck! 

The day started off VERY cold! When we left MA, the temperature was in the mid-50's, but by 8AM in Maine, the temp was 41!  We layered up and I looked like a clown, oh well I was warm.  On a good note, each of our long sleeve shirts matched our socks!  There were about 80 riders in total for 2 separate rides, one 25 mile ride and one 50 mile ride.  The ride was absolutely amazing!

We rode along the coast and the temp eventually got up to a very respectable 60!  We even rode past the Bush Compound.  I didn't know it was the former president's house until AFTER I took the picture.

Speaking of taking pictures, I added the bento box on the bike for my Gu Chomps, but it also fits the blackberry nicely! Apologies for the quality of these pics, but its the best I can do while RIDING.  I can take pictures with my RIGHT hand, but have trouble with my left.  The following picture is what happens when I try to do it lefty!  I even have trouble taking the water bottles out lefty, so I should work on that!

Up until Saturday, my longest ride had been around 30 miles.  Leave it to me to increment a ride by 40%.  A normal person would increment by oh, 5%.. not me ;)..

At the beginning of the season I put this ride on my schedule so I would be forced to ride this distance by the end of the year. I fully expected to be in better shape by now, but .. well no buts, I just didn't get to where I expected.

Around mile 30, I thought "ok here we go - uncharted territory" - the first 30  miles were great, had a pretty good avg speed!  - Then Miles 30-38 felt like I did another 30 miles!  I thought, "HEY is my computer broken?? "   My legs started to fatigue a little, but in a good way.  My quads and hip flexors were getting some use that they hadn't seen to date!  My new bike shorts were doing the trick for other parts, so I was going to live.

I had an interesting revelation at Mile 42.38 and yes I know that number exactly.  Michele and Ethan had a discrepancy on their computers so I said "well mine is GPS: 42.38" - then I thought about that.. FORTY TWO MILES?? seriously I just rode FORTY TWO MILES? WOW!  I remember earlier in the year when my 12 mile loop just about killed me.---42.38! ---

That also meant just a few miles to go! woohoo!  We rounded the corner and onto the DIRT ROAD, yea last 1/4 mile on a dirt road was pretty fun (not)!  But luckily I didn't land on my head!  We headed in, and straight for the BBQ!

They were doing announcements, the highest donations, teams, riders that drove the farthest, etc.  Then they mentioned "the youngest rider." - This kid, slouched in his chair raised his hand as the youngest rider.  I thought "hm, I bet you did just the 25" so I went inside and asked how old the youngest was and which ride he did.. turns out he was 15 and did the 25.  WELL!!!!  My riding partner, Ethan is 14 - and rode the 50!  Not only did he ride the 50, but he kept it slow so I could keep up!

I swear, every post I find people that just make this sport awesome, and this spans ALL AGES!!

FYI:   It's not too late to contribute if you would like :)  http://www.firstgiving.com/laurabackus - this should be up for a couple weeks!

I am – Athena!

I am humbled by the number of people that are not only reading my blog, but are taking the time to tell me their stories.  I have people I don’t know telling me their plights, and even how I’ve inspired them to get off the couch.  I find it hard to believe that I’m inspiring anyone but it keeps me writing.  Today’s post is something I normally wouldn’t write about, but I feel that it needs to be said, and I write for all the Athena’s out there!

For those that don’t know, “Athena” is the nice word that Triathlon gives to the fat girls.. and by fat they mean anyone over 150 pounds.  It’s kinda like the “Women’s” section of clothing.. if you don’t know any better you might think “mature” – nope just means fat.  And if you’re like me and Short, you get to shop in “Petites”  -- ok "Petite-Woman” sounds so much better than “short fat section.”  Just like ATHENA is much cooler than “fat chick category.”  I guess it’s better than the men’s category: “Clydesdale” – I’d rather be a Goddess than a damn big horse :)

Fat is a relative term, I have friends that have given me the hairy eyeball “you’re not fat, shuttup, I’d be happy to weigh what you weigh.”  I also have friends that I used to be embarrassed to sit next to on the beach because they’re hot and I felt like I needed to cover up with a towel.   I am, by medical “statistics”  obese- I’ve worked out HARD this past year and, I completed 7 triathlons!  I can swim over 2 miles [updated 2012- 4 miles], I can ride 30+ miles [updated 2012 - 112 miles].  Seriously, they can bite me, I’m not obese, I’m “fit-fat” – is there such a thing?   I know how to wear my clothing, I choose not to wear clothing where my parts are hanging out!  I also choose not to show the tri pictures that are unbelievably unflattering! These are the reasons that people feel the need to tell me "you're not fat."

I hear stories of women who have lost 100 pounds, and are now triathletes!  I am not in that category, you guys ROCK!  I am destined to be a double digit size forever and I thank my relatives for that!  No matter what I do, I will have to drag the extra 30 lbs on the bike (hm.. go with Carbon fiber bike? Or just get rid of some fat).

I’ve learned to be ok with it, fighting with the scale gives me nothing but grief and makes me want to have a date with a pizza.  No matter what I do that needle does NOT move.  I’m getting too old to care about what people think.  So what if those 20-somethings think “omg what is that old fat chick doing in a bathing suit” – it's me and I can swim circles around them!    Triathlon has been amazing, it has given me something to focus on that has NOTHING to do with that number on the scale!

I am learning to watch my food intake for its power and how my body will use it for fuel, not what I will or will not see on the scale the next day. I am learning to enjoy working out for the fun of it, for the greatness of the sport, for the camaraderie of it.  I am seeking new heights in triathlon to see how far I can push myself. 

I’ve had a few people tell me to change the name of my blog, but the real story is, I’m a fat gal, but I’m fit!  I can do an endurance race at over 70-80% of my maximum performance for over four hours [updated 2012- 10 hours]!  Can you skinny people do that :)

I am fat!
I am fit!
I am ATHENA!

**This awesome Athena artwork was created  by Alayna Lemmer  and was published with permission.

A Year of Firsts

This year was a year of first for me!  I've been doing Tri's for a few years, but I tackled many of my fears this year, and had many firsts that I hope to not have seconds!!

I have done the following for the first time this year:

• Started a blog 
• Completed 7 triathlons in 1 year
• Competed in a Pool Tri *annoying*
• Competed with Men *what was I worried about??*
• Competed in the Ocean *ok that was COLD*
• Competed in 17 mph winds with 35 degree air temp.
• Competed in 62 degree lake water
• Completed my first Olympic Distance *.9 swim, 26 mile bike, 6.1 mile run*
• Competed with a migraine (2 different races)
• Added DRUGS to my transition layout *no not steroids, just the migraine drugs, but still an interesting addition*
• Became a swim coach/mentor
• Became an official swim buddy coordinator
• Had my picture on the front page of a race organization site (not bad for a slow gal)
• Had an article published in a different race director's newsletter
• Finished Dead Last - complete with my own police escort
• Finished 2nd Place in my Category
• Crossed over 1000 miles on my bike *during the Olympic race*
• Became somewhat ok with unflattering pictures of my rear end and other body parts (inevitable in tri's) 
• Spilled Chicken Salad in my shoe --TWICE!!!
• Splashed Milk in my eye
• Puked at the end of a race (ok not the first time for that lol).
• Ran 1.5 miles BAREFOOT.. nope not with those shoes, on a track in my bare feet!
• Rode more than 30 miles in a single training session
• Swam more than 2 miles in a single training session
• Decided I REALLY am going to do an Ironman, finish in 17 hrs or not!

Lastly, and most importantly.... 

• Discovered that this sport has the best people, and the greatest friends!

Season Finale

Sunday was my 7th and final tri of the season!  I raced with two friends Alexis and Pauline!  I can honestly say I was really excited about it from Feb until about June, then I started to freak out.  Around mid-July I REALLY started to freak out!  I had delusions that I would be a running gazelle by then!  Oh how life gives you things that are so different than what you expect :).

I spent August really working on my bike, I knew this was where I could gain the most for the race!  I went into the race feeling reasonably confident about the swim and bike, but really scared about the "RUN."- then mother nature decided to throw me another curve ball - a heat wave in New England!

I've raced 2 races this summer with full blown migraines &  I really didn't want this to be another one!  Friday I was so busy preparing for my parents to visit, trying to catch up with work so I could take a few days off after the race, that I FORGOT to hydrate!  By Sat AM I had a headache.... I kept thinking, great - here we ago again! I kept on top of it and was ok by Sunday AM!  Up at 3:30AM and in the car by 4:20 with my  Peanut Butter bagel in hand -woohoo, I was ready!

I felt great!  When I got to the race site, got my number, then met Alexis - she said "you're going to have a great race, they lost MY number." This meant I passed Mr. Murphy onto her!  Poor Alexis had to stuff her bike on a unmarked rack, then was forced to MOVE it again 10 min before the swim start!

So, onto the SWIM- .9 miles completely around this little lake.  It was very shallow, some parts I could touch the ground with my ARMS while swimming!  I can't imagine how tall people did it!  I saw some people walking,    I started out front right again, I think this will be my spot from now on, I really like it there!    I was kicked MANY MANY times, more than ever, but it didn't really bother me.  I had an awesome swim, I felt relaxed, kinda fast, and overall zen.

There was a really long run, AROUND transition to get to my bike, but I managed and off I went!  The ride was beautiful and fast!  I got a bento box and had some Gu Chomps with me. I have my air traffic control dashboard with me and finally figured out what numbers drive me on the bike (cadence, speed, and average speed).    Ever 15 min I would eat a chop and I kept my numbers in check.  This enabled me to keep a full 2 mph avg higher than I had been!  - VERY happy with my 26 mile bike!  --

I'm still a terrible climber. Even though the hills were tiny, I'm still slow. Every time I slowed down someone would say "hey awesome job, looking good" or something like that, and not until later in the race did I really appreciate that they MEANT it.  I totally thought "ugh, they're thinking 'poor fat slow girl."

I popped in another GU and just WENT, around mile 20 just found this burst of energy!  Some guy yelled out "woah, you look fresh as a daisy?!" -- interesting I thought, maybe I figured out how I need to fuel?

I passed a woman that had been in front of me the whole time, and just yelled out "hey, you're faster than me, and have been this whole race, come-on, you can do it" - so we cat and moused it the last 2 miles.  In Transition she yelled "hey thanks, I needed that." - of course she then RAN..  I knew I wasn't going to be able to run 6.1 miles!

The heat was starting to rage by this time, I have no idea what temp but it was in the 90's.  I started out with my run, which is about 14min mile.  I did that for 1 mile then walked, I can walk the same speed so I decided to just walk!  I noticed this guy in front of me, fit and appeared to be struggling.  He would walk/run/walk/run.  I rounded a corner about mile 1.7 and he was sitting in the grass on the side of the road.  I just walked over, gave him a hand and said "lets go, only .3 to the next aid station, you're walk/running what I'm just walking @ the same speed, I bet you can just walk this."  So he got up, and told me that he had just not fueled properly today.  He was bonked for sure!  I said "they have Hammer Gel at the station, grab a couple, see if that helps." - so he did, and we kept walking, and he started to feel better...

About .25 from the finish line, a police man said "hey its only a short distance left, finish strong!" so he said "ok lets run" --- as you can imagine he ran LOTS faster than I do, so off he went, and I just puttered along.  He noticed I was missing and STOPPED and waited for me!  When I caught up, he said "I would have been a DNF if you didn't pick me up off the ground." - So we crossed the finish line together!

These are the things I love about this sport!  You really do  meet the best people!

And now I've completed an Olympic Tri!

Riding and Riding and Riding..

My first Olympic is rapidly approaching!  3 days and counting!!  A couple weeks ago I decided that it was just too late to deal with my lack of running training, so I would try to amp up my Bike and Swim.  After a few mile swimming workouts, I conceded that I have 'one speed' right now.  So, considering dropping time in the swim  was also a lost cause this late in the game, the only way for me to really gain some time on this race was the bike!

I've had the pleasure of riding with some really strong riders these past couple of weeks.  I really feel bad when this happens, because I know I hold them back, but it also is something we all NEED to do!  I pushed myself to a limit I didn't know I had!  With John and Kevin, no sleep, and terrible fueling, I was able to push out the best time ever on my normal bike loop!

I know I will always make it a point to ride some of my rides with people can push so I can pay it forward!  Thanks guys!  And to the rest of you (you know who you are), I will be ready to ride with you soon!  I promise!

I had my bike re-fit, and it made a tremendous difference and has helped me push myself!  I got my first fit when I purchased the bike. Not only have I changed as a rider, I've quite literally changed in shape, plus I think the first fitting was done with a tape-measure and a protractor!  I spent three hours with Landry's in Westboro, MA and it was worth EVERY PENNY!  They record you, and use a laser  for measurements then you can watch yourself on the monitor with before and after pictures.  She noticed that my seat was too big, (no people I did not buy a big cushy seat, I just had the one that came with the bike)!   Man, I was all over the place, waggling back and fourth!

New seat - waggling gone! - energy conserved!

Next was the placement of my cleats.  She noticed that one of my knees was turning at an awkward angle, so she moved it so my foot was slightly turned in.  It was weird at first, and I'm still having trouble clipping in the first shot, but no more knee pain!!!

She made several other adjustments including changing the way I sit, and set me up to get closer to my aero position. Since I'm hypermobile, she mentioned that I will be much more comfortable bent in half (and I can bend in half)!  I cannot wait to get the new tri-bike!


If all goes well, I will hit 1000 mile mark on my bike DURING the race!  - Then I may be able to retire her from Triathlons in peace!

I had an awesome ride with Ali and Jay in RI last Saturday!  The weather couldn't have been more perfect.  We had intended on 33 miles around Tiverton and Compton, however the directions were incorrect and lead us to a couple of dead ends. 

We drove around through these amazing sights! - That I can't believe I dared to TAKE PICTURES while riding :).

Thanks to everyone that's been riding with me!  I can't do it without you!

Long Strange Summer

It's been a long strange summer!  Six races down and one to go! I thought by this time I would be in tip-top shape, would be ready to run a half-marathon and would be so ready to do my Olympic next weekend!  HAHA!

I still can't run and I'm doing OK on the bike.  I wish I was faster on my swim (don't we all)? but  I'm good with it.  Some day I'm just going to swim until I can't swim anymore to see just how far I can go.  Boredom always gets me first!

This week has been my strongest week so far, I rode with some very strong riders < Thanks Kevin and John D>.  Kevin really is a natural, I can't believe he just started cycling!  They pushed me out of my comfort zone and even though they had a leisure stroll, I had the best time ever on my normal bike loop!    I am also enjoying my new 'fit'- unbelievable what a difference some small adjustments to the bike can make!  I can actually climb a little now!

This week has been crazy, trying to manage getting home, and onto my bike or into the lake before the lifeguards leave, or the sun goes down.  I've turned by bedroom into a transition area, and have now added "put contacts in, change out of work clothes" as part of T1 :).

I plan to ride a nice 33 mile ride tomorrow through some beach towns in RI, then a Bike/Swim on Sunday.  Then I'm onto the taper-week.  It's sad that I'm approaching the last race of the year, but I'm ready to get back to the gym and ready to start getting stronger!  I have a lot more work to do than I thought!

I will be over 4 hours on the Olympic, the run is going to kill me and will probably be half of my time, but I will finish!

I Can!

I've been thinking  a ton lately about how crazy I am to think that I can do an Ironman!  This sport is so addicting, and it just makes you want to push yourself to new limits.  I am not fast, I am not an elite athlete, I just like to do it!  Plus I have this 'need' to go to the n-th degree of everything I try!  I have  2 hr sprint and I'm probably going  to have a 4 hr Olympic at the end of the month, I'll probably have a 16:59:59 Ironman (if I'm lucky).  In my mind this is pretty sad since I've been working on this all year.  I've thought a TON about giving up and just keeping with the sprints and keeping with my " I'm last" phenomenon.

I'm very motivated by sports in general, things like the movie Rudy make me cry!  I love sports, I love seeing people overcome obstacles, and just plain managing to "do it."  I've had a tough couple of months, battling my hyper-mobility and most recently I discovered I'm allergic to something and I think its whey!  The whey (if it is that) allergy is lovely considering I'm trying to eat better and fuel properly for the longer races.  The attack put me in a ball on the couch/floor for four days!  FOUR DAYS!  This is in a critical period before my first Olympic tri!  UGH! is all I have to say.  Again, I was ready to give up, and just say "F -it." 

So Sunday rolls around, a friend came over and we were supposed to bike, instead we went shopping.... on a good note, after eating a bunch of crap (chicken fingers, spinach and artichoke dip) I actually felt pretty good!  While stuffing my face, another friend texted me to remind me that KONA was re-airing, so I asked John to record it for me.  Even though I've seen it, I knew I needed the motivation.

For those that don't know, Kona is the Ironman championships, you have to come in top 3 in select OTHER Ironman races during the year in your age group to even qualify for Kona.  - These are the best of the best!  Now there are some others that participate, I'm not quite sure how they get in there, but for the  most part it's the best!

They start out with the athlete stories, first is the woman who had a stroke 2 years ago and was told she would most likely not walk- so what's she do? 2 years later, completes an Ironman!     Next, this man who was born with birth defects that rendered his legs useless and he had them amputated, he completed the swim and the bike but missed the cutoff by 7 seconds.  A 75 year old man who has completed Ironman Kona for 20 years straight.. a Cancer patient, A man who has lost 300 lbs, etc.

Then I think about Rick and Dick Hoyt, I've had the honor of watching them compete in triathlons, I am dumbfounded knowing that  they do IRONMAN too!  Dick is amazing, what I struggle to do as a 36 year old, he does as a 70+ year old PUSHING his son!!!  I have to think, seriously? what is my problem?

I sit and watch these stories and wonder, what the hell am I thinking, I'm just a regular Joe with no excuses, get off my butt and DO IT! 

Why???

Because I CAN!!!