Today I had 70 minutes to adjust my perspective. Up at 4:30AM so I could go to a Spin class at 5:45. I like to sit up front because I need to look at my form in the mirror. With EDS, I have no perspective of my body in space, so making sure my knees are in place, for example, is a must.
While looking into the dreaded mirror, this is what goes through my head:
"ugh I'm fat, out of shape; man my belly is big; what happened to my Ironman self? wow I'm lazy; my arms are huge, when did that happen? I shouldn't have taken the year off; ugh, am I really going to be able to take this weight off? or is this more about being over 40?......"Then my brain wondered elsewhere:
"damn, I have all race clothes on; do I own anything other than race clothes? people must think I'm trying to show off; oh yea they prob don't care, they're probably thinking they are fat too.... wait, I have stuff from 6 different races on!? dork, I'm a dork...."Here's where perspective changes:
Hey wait, I have my PMC shorts on, Chesapeakeman shirt, Irongirl headband, Ironman Florida sweatshirt, Patriot half water bottle, and Providence Half Ironman bag on the floor... that's a ton of races represented! (Then I started to add in my head, - which only helped pass time as I can't add in my head).Hey I AM representing a TON of miles in my clothing today! (well really half a ton).
- PMC 192 miles cycling x 3 = 576
- Chesapeakeman Ultra 112 miles x2 = 224
- Ironman Florida = 112
- Patriot Half 56x2 = 112
- Providence Half = 56
- Irongirl 12 x2 (x5 if you include the previous owner or the race, Danskin).= 60
That is 1140 miles of cycling DURING RACES that I am representing right now, in my perceived fat, out of shape body! .. 1140! Half a ton of miles!
Yea I may be out of shape, but there's an athlete in here an I'm not afraid to admit it!
What did you do today to change your perspective?
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**Please do not reply to this blog post with 'you are not fat' that isn't the point of the post; everyone has moments and it is meant to illustrate the thought process. I only mention this because someone will reply with just that sentiment.