Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Look Out World!
I'm a pain in the ass, I don't take no for an answer, and I don't let anything stand in the way of my goals or anything I think is "right."
I could write millions of examples but a few that stand out that embody my personality and perseverance. When I was about 7, my brother was about 4 and one of the neighborhood bullies had put my brother's bike on the park fence so he couldn't get to it. I went down there and took on this 15 year old! I didn't care that he was twice my size and I clearly was in a no-win situation. I didn't care I was getting that bike down! I think I kicked him in the shin and said get the bike down. The kid probably laughed uncontrollably at this little 7 year old girl but he took the bike down.
When I was about 11, I wanted a pair of Jordache jeans (yea this dates me). My parents said no! This was not good enough for me, and I wasn't the stomp your feet kid. So, I went out, got a paper route and saved my money and got that pair of Jordache Jeans. My parents thought I was crazy for spending my money on it, but I did it!
When I was 14, I wanted a boat! Yup, I said a BOAT! So I got a job at a Marina (this was before they really cracked down on child labor laws). I owned a 14 foot Starcraft Boat, and paid for a slip at a real marina at age FOURTEEN! Just because I wanted one, I wanted to ski, and have my own place to hang out on the river!
That's just a little bit about how I don't let much stand in my way. I don't care what's in my way, I will make it happen, from the examples above, to finding a way to go to college, to now dealing with my medical roadblocks! As you've seen from my posts, the last few weeks have been REALLY hard! It's also really hard to not give up! I've wanted to just throw in the towel and say "fine I'm just going to sit on the couch and watch TV."
Then I thought about it for 5 minutes. That is not who I am! I am still a giant pain in the ass! "NO" is not in my vocabulary! I am not going to let this EDS take any power from me. It may flatten the physical me, I may have to work 10x harder than others at some points to do the exact same thing, but I have to think - well there's someone else out there that's working HARDER - SUCK IT UP!
I often see Dick Hoyt pushing his son, I'm not working that hard! The days I can't move my legs, I have to think "I have the power, use it, dig for it, find it.. kick it in the shin!"
The days I think "I can't do this" - I have to think "SCREW YOU EDS - YOU CAN'T HAVE ME."
I love this song! It was played in a spin class, but it has so much meaning to those fighting something! If you're having a bad day, or just needing some personal inspiration, PLAY IT! LISTEN TO THE WORDS!!!!
The other day I said to John "I don't know if it's a good for my body to do the Ironman" - he said "is it a good idea for ANYONE's BODY do to an Ironman?" - yea point taken! I have no idea if I can finish the Half Ironman, but I'm going to start it. It depends on the weather and what is going to be sucked out of me that week. I am going to give it my all. I'm going to GO until the time runs out!
My success will be crossing 8 hours 30 minutes, not necessarily the "finish line."
Seriously, Look out World, I'm really on a mission now and you are NOT GOING TO STOP ME!